Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products

Been rather bored nowadays, and I did mention about updating every weekend. So, here's some entertainment.

~music~

Bored staring at warning labels telling us not to do this and that? Well, apparently even production people got sick and tired of simply typing out the same thing over and over again.So, here are some...

(note: none of the content below is fake I swear)

DMR's Dumb and Funny Warning Labels On Products

Toilet Plunger Caution:
Do not use near power lines.
Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter:
Safe to use around pets.
Bowl Fresh:
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.
Little Ones Baby Lotion:
Keep away from children
Hair Coloring:
Do not use as an ice cream topping.
Stridex Foaming Face Wash
May contain foam.
Sleeping Pills Warning:
May cause Drowsiness
Christmas Lights Warning:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
Fire Extinguisher:
Caution: Non-Flamable
Earplugs:
These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe
Mattress Warning:
Do not attempt to swallow
Matches Caution:
Contents may catch fire.
RCA Television Remote Control:
Not Dishwasher Safe
Hair Dryer Warning:
Do not use while sleeping.
Road Sign Caution:
water on road during rain.
Children's Superman Costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
Silk Soy Milk:
Shake well and buy often
Air Conditioner:
Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.
Rowenta Iron Warning:
Never iron clothes on the body.
Hershey's Almond Bar Warning:
May contain traces of nuts
Beach Ball CAUTION:
It is not a life saving device.
Chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.
Hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children
Helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists:
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you
New Zealand insect spray:
This product not tested on animals.
Infant's bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water.
Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges:
Not meant as substitute for human companionship.
Disposable razor:
Do not use this product during an earthquake.
Toner cartridge for a laser printer:
Do not eat toner
Novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock":
Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth.
A birthday card for a 1 year old:
Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.
Microwave Oven:
Do not use for drying pets.
Rat Poison:
Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.
Sign at a railroad station:
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death.Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
Package of dice:
Not for human consumption.
Shipment of hammers:
May be harmful if swallowed.
Manual for an SGI computer:
Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.
Instructions for a cordless phone:
Do not put lit candles on phone.
Bus Stop:
No stopping or standing.
Car Manual:
In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors.
T.V. manual:
Do not pour liquids into your television set.
Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11:
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
Can of black pepper:
Instructions: usage known.
Orange Juice Can:
100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate.
Stickers to put on the seat of a potty training toilet:
This is not a toy. Stickers require adult supervision.
Bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle:
Do not open here.
Bottle of bathtub cleaner:
For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.
Box of household nails
CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!
Microwave popcorn, packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it:
Direction #1: Remove plastic.
Drink bottle label:
Do not peel label off.
Box of Frosted Cheerio's:
The logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here."
Container of salt:
Warning: High in sodium
Hose Nozzle:
Do not spray into electrical outlet.
Pack of screws sold in china
Screw Taiwan

~music~

Okay...this issue was lame..I sincerely apologise for anyone frozen after reading this.Well, you can always defrost using the lighter, just keep it away from your face! =P

squeak

This is very IMPORTANT, you have to read these chinese words with the right pronounciation.I even added the hanyu pingying as a guide

字之之字
zi zhi zhi zi

之子子之字
zhi zi zi zhi zi

子之字子之字
zi zhi zi zi zhi zi

之子字之子之字
zhi zi zi zhi zi zhi zi

Finish reading?Scroll down......






























Congratulations!!You read it all correctly. I believe that in this mouse year you will have a fantastic time chatting with mice with this newfound knowledge of the mouse language!!!!Hahahaha

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

My new hse

Okay..Cant update during the weekend as I am busy with the moving and all.And today's my bdae lala.(extra and random) Here to show u an advertisment I made specially for my new hse to describe it.

*Note: comments in brackets not included =)

~Music~

Wanting to get a new hse? Introducing Blk 545,Surprising street 42 S741741 (read it fast = 气死你=make u angry till u die) Armed with 3 rooms, 1 living room, 1 kitchen and 2 toliets, it is equipped with loads of surprises and suitable for EVERYONE!!

For those who love thrills, visit the 2nd largest rm (mine).I assure you that simply by pressing the light switch it will shock you to no end.(apparently the earth wire is gone I think) Furthermore, you will never know when it will actually work.Exciting isn't it? (anyone wants to calculate the probabilty of it working?)

For those who love researching on critters, go to the kitchen.Its filled with such wonderful creatures.In the cupboards there are eggs of the marvelous Periplaneta americana (Linnaeus) (a.k.a cockroaches) and once in a while some interesting lizards of an unusual size will jump out of nowhere.

For those who love ghost hunting, you are all welcomed.The lovely shade of red on the window railings and door with white walls as the background will surely appeal to the unknown ones. Whats more, the drips of paint on the wall (seriously it looks like blood) will provide a great ambience for the occasion. Oh yes, the JJ spirits are nearby too.

For those who simply cant stand the sight of your own face (excuse my language), you will surely love this house. There is no presence of any mirrors. Yes, none at all. Not even in the toliet. So no more worrying about seeing your face and screaming about it.(that was cruel >.< sry if I offended anyone)

For the electricity savers, I promise you your bills will never be the same again! In each room, (not counting the toliets sadly) there is only 1 area to plug. This is the same for both the living room and the kitchen. Whats more, the one in the kitchen is not working (until further notice). So with all these electricity saving facilities, I am sure you will no longer burn a hole in your pocket for such things.

For those who consider themselves nocturnal, you will have the perfect environment to live in. At night, the whole house is still as bright as day.(duh its beside the corridor) You can even read books or do homework without fear of ruining your eyesight. Whats more, you will not fall asleep that easily which helps greatly in maintaining your nocturnal habits.

Lastly, this house is specially catered to those who absolutely LOVE challenges.This is the best house of challenges ever, especially the toliets. Some taps refuse to work, one toliet is leaking, another once flushed will never stop flushing and a stove which only 1 fire seems to be working. Sweet isn't it?

So what are you waiting for?Get it now at only $XXXk, prices negoiatable.

~Music~

Okay...Just like what my OGLs say, must keep a positive attitude for everything =) CHeers and Happy 17th Bdae to me!!! (extra and random again.haha)

JAE

I guess in case I run out of crap to post, I am recruiting helpers (?!!) to contribute ideas in case my brain cells die too much haha. So, my friend Dan will be doing his best to help for now.

Now the O levels results are released and you have to refer to that thick book given to us students to choose the JC/Poly/Courses/Anywhere to stay for the next 2 devastating years.Ever wondered what to do with it after everything is over?Here's my personal advice...

DMR's Guide on the JAE booklet

1.Tear it. (most simple)
2.Cut it. (even simpler)
3.Burn it. (becareful..)
4.Laminate it. (must have sufficient funds)
5.Bury it. (ever heard of time capsules?)
6.Hang it up and worship it (the 'bible' )
7.Sell it to the galangguni man along with your notes. ($.$)
8.Cut out all the letters and play scrabble.
9.Read it from front to back.
10.Read it from back to front.
11.Memorise everything. (wow?)
12.Swat mosquitoes with it
13.Make into shoe soles and wear them. (can grow taller by 0.8145242cm)
14.Measure the thickness of each page.(with a micrometer screw guage)
15.Balance it on your head.
16.Throw it into the Fridge.
17.Throw it into the Microwave.
18.Throw it into the washing machine.
19.Throw it out of the window.
20.Send it back to MOE stating that they have invoked many environmental issues (a.k.a cutting down of trees to provide the paper for us)
21.If possible, try do all of the above and add more creative ideas of your own to this great guide.

Thank you and have fun!

zaoju

Remember the days when we suffer from the horrible hands of chinese 造句 during primary school?It seems so simple nowadays.Well, lets see some of the amazing examples...applause please~


1.题目 : 原来
小朋友写 : 原来他是我爸爸。
老师评语 : 妈妈关切一下

3. 题目: ..一边 ...........一边 ............ ..
小朋友写: 他一边脱衣服,一边穿裤子 .
老师评语: 他到底要脱还是要穿啊~~

9. 题目: 其中小朋友写: 我的其中一只左脚受伤了。
老师评语: 你是蜈蚣？ ~~

10.题目 : 一 ...就....
小朋友写 : 一只娃娃就要一百块。
老师 评语: 老师笑到不行 ..

11.題目 : 你看
小朋友写 : 你看什么看 ! 没看过啊

12. 例题: 你(唱歌 ) 我( 跳舞)
小朋友写 : 你( 好吗) 我 (很好)
老师评语: 你在写英文翻译吗 ??

13 .例题: 别人都夸我 ( )，其实我 ( )
小朋友写: 别人都夸我( 很帅 )，其实我 (是戴面具的 ) 。
老师评语: 什么面具这么好用 ???

1 4.题目: 好 ... 又好 ..
小朋友写: 妈妈的腿 ,好细又好粗 ...
老师评语: 那到底是细还是粗？

15.题目 : 陆陆续续
小朋友写 : 下班了，爸爸陆陆续续的回来。
老师 评语 : 你到底有几个爸爸呀?

20 .题目: 皮开肉绽
小朋友写: 停电的夜晚，到处很黑，我吓得皮开 肉绽!
老师评语 : 看到这句... 老师佩服你。

21 .题目 : 欣欣向荣- 比喻生长美好的样子。
小朋友写: 我的弟弟长得欣欣向荣。
老师评语: 孩子，你弟弟是植物人吗...

还有 一个! 更瞎的 …

小朋友写: 欣欣向荣荣告白。
老师评语 : 连续剧不要看太多 ~~

22 . 题目: 谢谢 ....因为 ......
小朋友写: 我要谢谢妈妈 ,因为她每天都帮我写作业 ......
老师评语: 原来你的作业是妈妈写的!!!!!!!

1st post!

Well...this blog is specially created to entertain/freeze/bemuse/or bore anyone or everyone who visit...so I shall spam my craziest crap here for fun, joy and laughter. Have fun and enjoy!